Letters from Lisa

  Mail can come in many different forms, whether that’s a letter, an advertisement, a magazine, a postcard, or a package. Some mail is thrown out immediately. Other mail is kept forever. The mail I’ve been keeping forever was from my mom.  One summer when I was little, I spent two months in China with my younger brother and grandparents. My dad was off on a business trip and my mom had stayed back to work on her dissertation. We had been to China before and my grandparents had visited us for long stretches of time before, but we had never been without our parents for so long.  We were a little scared at first, but after the jetlag wore off, our excitement skyrocketed. Everyday was just fun. Our grandparents spoiled us. We would watch TV, go out to eat, go shopping, go for walks, and swim. This is when my grandpa taught me how to swim. I remember asking to go every day after dinner. My brother and I would beg his ears off. Most days he would agree, and we would all walk ...

  My family is large. I got to see that every Christmas as my cousins, great aunts and uncles, and people I didn’t even recognize all gathered into one small house. We drove hours down to their house and back up in the same night just to be there for those few hours on Christmas Eve. I don’t have a lot of memories of this, just glimpses of random moments and an associated feeling of pure joy. I remember always receiving a present, but I can’t remember a single thing I got because that wasn’t the important part. I just felt safe and loved.  Then one Christmas, it stopped. My great aunt died, and we all fell out of contact. My family no longer seemed large. The last time I saw many of them was at her funeral. She was the one who always brought us together. While listening to people at school talk about their holiday plans, I found myself longing to have those family gatherings again. Others had three Thanksgiving dinners to attend… I had one regular dinner. Others had been t...

     I don’t recall being embarrassed by the things I used to like. I get embarrassed by the things I do all the time but not the things I like. Why would someone else care if I like something?       My music taste is kind of wacky. But I’m aware of it. I used to only listen to Disney musical soundtracks. Sometimes people would mention that, and I suppose I would get a little embarrassed, but now I would tell someone that I was obsessed with Disney without a problem.  Mal is a character from Disney’s Descendants about the children of villains, and I used to go around wearing a shirt with an enlarged picture of her face on it. It’s not so much embarrassment that I feel, but I would not choose to do that today.  I don’t like that liking Disney became a personality trait. That’s what people knew me for. I think liking it is good because it’s good to find joy wherever you can, but I could’ve been more subtle about it. Not a secret, just not broa...